I'll Be Here (or Flashbacks)
by 00Geeky00 00Goggles00
Summary: Germany is most definitely not okay, and his big brother is there to help. Germany doesn't want his help. (Trigger warning)


**I do not under any circumstances own Hetalia. I just made up the plotline for this story. Please do not break down my door in anger. Thank you. ^_^'**

Another day over, another training session gone by. A certain redhead had (once again) refused to run, instead playing with a cat. It was and exhausting day for Germany, taxing his mind more than anyone else knew.

"Ciao, Luddy!"

"Goodbye Feliciano."

Italy gave Germany a hug and skipped away leaving the taller country and his brother standing outside the house. Germany finally dropped the half-forced stern look and his shoulders sagged. He began to rub his temples as a headache began to form. Prussia turned to his younger brother with a worried glint in his eyes that didn't reach the rest of his face.

"Hey West, you okay?" Asked the albino. Germany nodded and almost walked away when Prussia took his shoulder and spun him around. Pale skin twisted into a disbelieving frown.

"Stop being stupid, you're not okay. Gimme a number West, you gotta let me help you." Prussia said somewhat hushed.

"I'm fine. Leave me alone, I'm not doing that to you again. You've already suffered enough because of m-"

"Shut up West." The older nation cut him off. "We both know you need this and you're lying through your teeth. Stop being a dumbass and let. Me. Help."

"No. I wo-"

"West! These will get worse and worse until I help you the hell out of it so can please let me be a big brother for once. I'm a big boy, I can even do a damn flip if you need it. Now, close you trap and MOVE SOLDIER." He barked suddenly.

That got a response. Ludwig stood up straight, put his feet together, and listed his name, rank, and the number 10/10. "Yes. Sir" He whispered, spitting the words venomously. His breathing became erratic. The effort to walk correctly was so much that Prussia had to half carry him to the basement. Ludwig barely held out down the stairs, making a point not to do anything violent.

However the instant they were downstairs, Ludwig couldn't hold back the rest of the flashbacks any longer.

...

 _Ludwig was standing at attention in a darkened room. His commander walked in slow shark-like circles around him. Ludwig swallowed and stood straighter in the deafening silence. A nervous chill began to work its way down his spine, slithering like a serpent and wrapping itself around his brain. Slowly panic rose and was quickly constricted by brutally trained thoughts. Suddenly, a deafening crack echoed through the room. Ludwig cried in pain as he felt himself fall and his kneecaps dislocate._

 _"You know why you are here, don't you?" His commander said slowly and calmly, as if Ludwig were still fine. Ludwig struggled in pain, trying to come up with an answer. Thoughts soon left his mind when he was kicked in the ribs, making them crack. His breath was taken and he felt like he was trying to breath in a vacuum._

 _"Why didn't you kill him?" A sharp blow to the face. Probably slapped. Ludwig craned his head, attempting to respond once again._

 _"He...was...only...a boy." The blond managed to rasp. His commander snarled and kicked him in the face. Blood began to gather in his cheek. The floor was cold concrete, burning his skin where it touched._

 _"They sent him to fight didn't they?!" Another blow to his legs. "He had a gun didn't he?!" His skull rang with a punch. "He was weaker than you, therefore you kill him! Only the strong survive and the weak..." Hit with what was presumably a gun. "must..." another to the face. A tooth was gone now. "be..." His arm was hit by the gun and shattered. Ludwig screamed in agony, his arm bent where the bone was supposed to be. "eradicated! That is what you were taught! You are the perfect soldier! Never dying, perfect form, the strongest will! Never pull this again, or I swear we_ _ **will**_ _find a way to kill you! This is your only kindness to be received. You_ _ **will**_ _kill the enemy. Your personal morals will stay out of it. This is who you are now." One last punch and his commander left, leaving him to bleed in pain and heal on his own._

 _In that moment, all Ludwig wanted to do was make this man suffer._

...

Prussia weakly dodged a punch. An inhuman cry ripped itself from his brother's throat as he continued to attack the albino, making bruises blossom on pale skin. Prussia weakly fought back, purposely throwing the fight. His jaw cracked as another punch connected. His head flew back and his lip bled, yet he stayed standing. He weakly attempted to dodge a deadly accurate kick. It still hit him directly in the chest. Gilbert continued to throw the fight.

"C'mon soldier. Bring it, let me have it. Come get me." Taunted the now frail, older nation. His skin was swelled with purple red and blue from blood and bruises. He forced his shoulders to straighten some, wincing when one of them popped. _Anything to make you okay._

 _..._

 _The flashback changed. Ludwig was now on the battle field in a trench. Boys no older than 20 charged towards the pit. He lifted his gun and tried, oh how he tried, to shoot them. Strike them down as he was told. Yet, all he could see in their young faces was an entire life ahead of them. He thought back to the young boys in his own country, to the ones he'd see at the bar get drunk and tipsy with their friends. Who laughed and cried and lived so well. They always made him happy, even if he didn't smile with his mouth. He smiled with his eyes._

 _Now, with the same boys on the battlefield, he couldn't even look at them let alone shoot them. Seeing faces that young with so much hatred and fear written across them tore Ludwig to shreds. They shouldn't be here. They should be at home with their mothers and fathers and friends. What are they doing here?_ _He couldn't kill them. Not now, never again._

 _Pain very quickly turned into anger. Anger at his superiors for making him kill these young men. Anger at the other countries for even thinking to send someone, especially when they were that young, to fight in this godforsaken wasteland. Anger at himself for fighting in the first place, for having to support this war to begin with, for not maiming the men in charge when he had a chance. With a scream of rage and frustration, Ludwig emptied his ammunition towards the sky. Shells rang in his ears as the other men in his squadron rushed into battle. Blood, sweat, and dirt flew as_

 _It happened so many times, Ludwig wasn't sure if he was or could stay sane._

 _..._

Gilbert was not fairing well in human terms. His nose was broken, as well as part of his jaw. His shoulder was dislocated and he probably had some internal bleeding. A concussion would not have been surprising. Blood streamed from his nose and mouth. He was wheezing and gasping for each breath. The albino barely managed to lean against the wall and stay upright, let alone stand on his own.

Ludwig's eyes had glazed over a while ago, lost in violent flashbacks that wouldn't stop for a long time. Tears constantly streamed down the younger brother's face, dripping slowly onto the floor. Gilbert took the abuse as well as he could, taunting Ludwig to get him. The blond had come at him with everything he had. All of his techniques to maim and disable he'd learned from years in the military used all at once. Bottles that the albino kept in his room to keep up the appearance that he'd broken the furniture and gotten into a bar fight, were thrown like grenades. Gilbert had, at one point, tried to half dodge a chair and a table that had been slung directly at him. Direct hit.

Gilbert lay on the floor, bloodied and beaten. Ludwig stood over him with scissors gripped in his fractured knuckles like a knife.

...

 _Ludwig had been taken to his commanding officer again. He once again stood at attention in a dark room. Probably an office. The man once again began circling him, but this time his voice low and even more deadly. Ludwig was not listening, he refused to do so. This man was ordering him to kill these boys who had just barely passed childhood. No, he would not stand for that. He'd rather die._

 _"Silence." growled the now enraged blond. The officer stopped his pacing and stood in front of Ludwig. He was so close that he could feel the heat radiating from his face, his sour breath blowing across his skin._

 _"What did you say to me?" The man's voice was dangerously deep and calm._

 _"I said, silence." Ludwig spat back. The officer grimaced and the tone and became infuriated._

 _"You think you can defy me?!"_

 _"Yes, I DO." Ludwig shouted in response. On his last word he seized the officer's neck, slowly choking him until he was unable to stand. The man was caught off guard and struggled to break the blond's hold, tearing at pale yet strong hands until they bled. The man began going limp and Ludwig threw him on the floor. He gasped for breath and began to stand when the former soldier threw a chair that was aimed at his head. The chair was smashed and the officer went down, writhing in pain. Ludwig grabbed the letter opener, brandishing the sharp object like a knife. He studied the man, now heaped and wheezing on the floor against the wall. His face looked familiar..._

 ** _Wait, that looks like Gil...how did he-?..._**

...

Ludwig's vision swam and he stumbled. Suddenly, he was in his brother's room in the basement. A broken and maimed Gilbert lay at his feet. He looked at his hand and found that he was holding scissors, holding them tightly and aiming as if to stab his brother. He stared for a second in shocked horror at the scissors then at his beaten brother. His eyes widened and filled with more tears, his brow creasing, and his mouth hanging slightly open in surprise. The young of the two threw the scissors across the room, far away from himself. Guilt crushed him as he sank the floor, silently sobbing.

He propped his older brother onto his legs, just holding him. Gilbert feebly looked up at his crying face.

"Gil, mein Gott, Gil. Don't let me do that. I'm so sorry, oh Gott I'm sorry. I hate this, I hate knowing I did this to you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-... I don't want you to-...Just, don't let me do that again. Tranquilize me if you have to just don't let me-...Oh Gott Gil, I'm so sorry." Ludwig gripped the albino's less injured hand, his voice breaking.

Gilbert weakly squeezed back, hushing brother as tenderly as he could manage. His breathing was shallow and uneven for a while until his body began healing itself. They stayed like that until Gilbert had healed enough to stand with only moderate discomfort. The internal bleeding and concussion were fixed first, a bit slower than everything else. The older brother winced, tensing and gasping in pain as organs and ribs shifted back to their places. He writhed in agony as he felt his brain being repaired and all the bones clicking back into place and mending. When there were only cuts and bruises left, he stood on wobbly legs.

The whole process took about two hours, with Ludwig watching every agonized twist, hearing every groan and gasp of pain, and knowing he was the reason for it.

He stood as Gilbert did, acting as a support the still weak albino. When he could stand on his own, Ludwig looked away in shame. Gilbert shambled in front of him. Ludwig hid his face, tilting it towards the floor. He turned to walk away. Gilbert crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow.

"West..." he drawled, stretching the word into multiple syllables. Ludwig stopped. "look at me." Ludwig stayed perfectly still. Gilbert rolled his eyes. "West, stop being such a dumkompf and look at me already."

Ludwig smiled bitterly. Of course Gilbert would say that. He turned and looked at his brother.

"Come here." He said, walking over to his bed, and sitting down. Ludwig dragged his feet as he went and sat down next to his brother, looking away again.

"Stop it West, and look at me." Gilbert said quietly, poking the blond's cheek. Ludwig slowly raised his head to look at the older nation. Gilbert spread his arms out some and said, "C'mere little bruder." The younger of the two finally broke down completely, weakly dropping himself into his brother's arms. Ludwig buried his face in Gilbert shoulder, audibly sobbing. Gil just held his brother's shaking form, trying to be comforting. He mumbled soothing words to his weakened brother, hoping he'd calm down.

"Shhh, calm down. I'm okay, I'm still here. You can't get rid of this awesomeness that easily. I'm right here, I'll be fine. It'll be okay. Shhh, it's okay little bruder. I'm here for you."

This reminded him of the really old days; when Prussia was a country and he'd fight every day. He'd come home with new scars all the time, and he always had to comfort his little brother. Ludwig would worry so much that his brother was going to lose and disappear. The older nation would hold him on his lap and rock him to sleep, letting him cry himself out. He'd been so small then. Now, even hundreds of years later, his little brother still needed him.

Ludwig calmed down after about half an hour, and Gilbert dragged him up the stairs to him room and into bed. The sun was down by then, and Ludwig fell asleep quickly. Prussia began to leave and looked back at his brother before he closed the door.

 _I'll be here for you West; as long as I can._

 **Reviews are appreciated! Thank you for reading.**

 **If I might explain myself, I don't want people to hate Prussia for going about this the wrong way. He _is_ trying his best after all. He just doesn't see that this is severely damaging them both; mentally and physically. Sorry, I'll be quiet now. *stocks tissues***


End file.
